Who Am I?

My name is Meghashyam Chirravoori. That’s a bit difficult. So you can call me Meghu.

I'm 22 years old.

I’m basically just like you of course, with a little story like yours – happiness, sadness, dreams and excitement sprinkled about in my life.

I was brought up in Chandigarh, India. It’s a small city but they say it is the cleanest city in India.

chandigarh railway station: picture by chanchal47

Then I finished grade 10. In India, after you’ve finished grade 10, you do either of 2 things. You “prepare” for an engineering entrance exam. Or you prepare for a medical entrance exam. That gives you a future. I prepared for my engineering entrance exam. I had no idea why I was doing it but I did it anyway.

Apparently I had prepared well enough – because I got into IIT, India’s top engineering institution.

IIT Roorkee: by Sidbij, Wikipedia

At IIT, I discovered that I was a terribly shy guy. Years of living alone with my books made me afraid of people, nervous…I thought lowly of myself. And for the first time I was alone, responsible for myself, amidst people I didn’t really know.

Sometimes I would stay in my room all day. I hardly had any friends.

Then in June 2007, my life changed. In one day.

I was at home for the summer holidays. It was 5 AM in the morning, and I woke up early that day. I wanted to go jog on the road. To be fit.

As I came out to jog, I saw some neighbours taking a walk. And I thought – “Oh they will see me jogging….What will they think of me?” And I felt terribly embarrassed. Yes, that is how I was at that time. Afraid. Of everything.

And then something struck me: what if I don’t care about how embarrassed I feel and jog?

What if I were ripped apart but still jogged? What if I was OK with being called a moron and a fool and still jogged?

I jogged. I imagined people staring at me and calling me names. And I still jogged.

By the time I came home for breakfast – I had discovered something. If you look a fear in the face, it disappears. And you feel amazing.

The new discovery stuck with me. In the next few days, I started challenging myself. As soon as I noticed fear creeping in, I would say, “Let me be ripped apart. Let me break into pieces. But let me do this that I fear.”

For the first time in my life, I told an auto-rickshaw driver to not smoke when driving. For the first time, I talked naturally –excitedly with dad’s friend. For the first time I sat with one leg perched on another in front of my parents without feeling embarrassed. I even praised an air-hostess for the wonderful food. Life changed…

The change took bigger proportions soon. When I returned to college for autumn, I was a different Meghu. Earlier, I had not had many friends: I was afraid to talk to almost anyone. This time, I stretched myself. I interacted with dozens and dozens of people. I volunteered to co-convene a state cultural festival. I became the cultural secretary for my dept. I asked questions in class even when they were dumb. And I anchored, spoke on stage and organized singing, debating and quiz competitions. Life without fear was suddenly a party, a celebration: and when there was fear – I was all set to be ripped apart. :)

As my life changed for the better, my enthusiasm to stretch myself increased. I started journaling about my discoveries…

In December 2007, in the winter holidays I decided to do something weird yet commonplace: I decided to choose my career. The old notions of “engineering degrees”, MBAs, and jobs had changed for me after June. I now wanted to decide what it was I really wanted to do in my life and then start doing it. I spent the holidays asking myself: what do I really want to do?

And I got an answer. I wanted to write and speak. About how life could be more interesting, more fun. About facing fears like asking “the boss” for a raise or telling a beautiful girl she was beautiful. About chilling out and doing new things. I wanted to experiment with my own life and share that with others.

I was young (20 years old). But you don’t need a beard to make someone’s life and your life interesting. All you need is a passion to stretch yourself beyond the ordinary routine of life, do something that’s fun and ask questions like “ What do I want?”, “Why do I exist?”

I purchased a nice website building package in June 2008. I registered my site in October 2008. And since then I’ve been here. Writing articles on hacking small little parts of life.

I mention her often in my articles… She is my girlfriend – though the word ‘girlfriend’ doesn’t really seem apt – it confines our bond to a social label. I love her.

In May 2009, I passed out of IIT. But I didn’t want to have anything to do with technology. I wanted to write here. On this site.

It was after passing out of IIT that I committed 2 mistakes. I admit them.

First: I didn’t tell my parents about Krupa. In India, you don’t talk to your conservative parents about girls. At least not everybody does that. My parents wouldn’t have accepted me falling in love. Marriages should be “arranged.”

To top that Krupa was from a different caste and state. And ‘caste’ meant the world.

So I didn’t tell them. In fact the truth is, I lied to them by not telling them.

The second mistake was even graver: I told my parents I wanted to live alone in another city – and requested them to fund me until my website succeeded. I could have taken up a job and financed myself. I didn't.

That was selfish and mean. But what was even more terrible was that I didn’t tell them that the other city I wanted to shift to was Mumbai. The city where Krupa lived. And I wanted to shift so that I could live in her city.

My parents loved me a lot. They still do, despite knowing the truth now.

They agreed. They didn’t like my career plans, they saw that I wanted to move away from them, to another city. And still they funded me.

And so in July 2009, I shifted to Mumbai.

After five months, I decided enough was enough. My website wasn’t anywhere near commercial success, and I couldn’t cheat my parents anymore.

In November 2009, I took up a job in Mumbai.

In January, 2010 I told my parents about Krupa. And I told them how I had cheated them when I had come to Mumbai for Krupa, and lived off their money.

They were angry. But they still loved me…..

And this is May 2010 when I am writing it all…. :)

Thankfully, I still love facing my fears, trying out new things…And there was this fascinating thoughts experiment I just completed. I haven’t quit my job yet. The website doesn’t earn me a living yet. But I am happy. I like writing on it. Like that people read all this…

And I have some dreams too. :)

Like I want to quit my job. Be financially free. Earn money through this site. Learn more about the law of attraction which is so amazing that it talks about actually making things happen ONLY by thinking! Structure my life more by waking up early in the morning. Learn lucid dreaming – a fascinating technique in which you know that you are dreaming while you are dreaming. Marry Krupa…And visit the fjords of Norway with her. :)

So well, that's me.

As you see, I am not perfect – or near perfection either. But I am enjoying the whole thing – this adventure of life. And I am sure I’ll squeeze the juice out of it. And that it’ll teach me a thing or two. :)

Maybe we can chat up a bit here.

Bye!

Me on Twitter

Go back from Who Am I? to personal-development-is-fun.com