Many of us have a habit.
We avoid doing the things that we should be doing FIRST. We avoid taking the big decisions of life or try to deny that there are any decisions to be made.
And we think that by avoiding the decision we are making the problem vanish.
There may be a job you may be hating but you may be denying the truth of it. You know you want to sit down and decide about it, but the whole thing seems like too much hard work and so you DENY it or avoid thinking about it.
Making a big decision is like a leap, it is scary. (Image thanks to Hamad Al Mohannna)
There may be a relationship that is not working but you know that addressing this truth will be a lot of effort and it sounds scary too, so you avoid sitting down and making a big decision.
There may be some change you want to make in your life but you avoid sitting down and committing to the change. It sounds like too much effort and too scary. And you think that by avoiding the change, you can make the need for the change vanish.
Here's the interesting thing we are going to address in this article:
|By avoiding a big decision, you have already made a BIG decision. To continue things as they are, forever.|
You have CHOSEN to continue in that job or continue the way your relationship is or continue whatever you wanted to decide upon. You have done this by simply avoiding any decision.
Let us look at a simple situation where you feel unpleasant when interacting with a certain person.
However, your work/habits ensure that you interact with this person regularly (let us call him Mr X for now).
You always feel unpleasant interacting with Mr X, but you continue doing so in the same way. You tell yourself – I should make some decision with respect to Mr X. You even complain about Mr X to other people. But you avoid taking a clear decision with respect to Mr X or coming up with a solution. This goes on and on and you are not happy.
If you do this, then, by avoiding any decision, you have already made your decision. You have already decided to continue interacting with Mr X forever (until you change your decision). Note that had you NOT avoided deciding about the situation, you might have come up with some possible solutions (like discussing what you don't like with Mr X, taking certain precautions with respect to Mr X etc) but by avoiding a decision you have MADE a clear decision to accept what is happening right now forever.
This is what happens every single time we avoid a major life decision because we think it is too much work or too scary. It may be too much work and scary but it is STILL ten times better to consciously sit and make some sort of decision because you're anyway making one even if you avoid it!
When you want to cut down on your TV but are avoiding making a clear decision on how, when, what – you are happily deciding to keep your TV intake just the same.
When you are avoiding a clear decision about your smoking habit and are not making a clear, well thought of decision about how and when to do it, you are happily saying yes to smoking as you do now, forever.
When you are avoiding a clear decision about when and how to start your own business, you are already making a decision to never start it and continue as you are.
Since you can see that avoiding any big life decision is anyway a myth, do the hard work and make that decision. At least sit up and address what you want to change in your life. Let it be scary. Let it take a full day of you confronting yourself. But do it now because there is no other choice. There is really no postponement. It doesn't exist. It's a decision either way.
You are always choosing your life. You can avoid taking responsibility for your choices BUT you cannot help but make a choice. You are making a choice whatever you do. So you might as well stand up, take responsibility for your choices and make the choice you truly want.
Go ahead, have a wonderful day where you accept responsibilities for your choices.