The Goal: To Manifest an EXTRA $ 500 in 21 Days by Doing One Exercise Suggested here Everyday.
I cried on Day 13 of the 21 Day law of attraction trial for manifesting abundance.
The email suggested something today that made me face a part of me that I had never ever faced before in my life.
I was supposed to imagine money as a person. A real person.
Like a man with blue eyes who was as tall as me and who wore a black cloak. Something like that. Like a real person.
Then I was to write him a letter. A letter where I would tell him everything that I thought about him.
How he had not give me that toy when I was a child. How I had hated him for ruining that school function for me. How I had wanted him and he had never been there. Everything that had taken place between me and him since I was a child.
And after writing him this letter, I had to read it out to him. And then I was to be friends with this Mr Money, and forgive the past.
Would I be able to do it?
First I was puzzled. I mean, how do you imagine money as a person?
And how much money represents the person? Am I supposed to think of Rs 500 as a person? Or Rs 1 lakh?
I was plain confused.
Then I thought: instead of thinking of money as a person, let me think of this guy called money dude.
I imagined that this guy was responsible for providing all the money in the world to everybody. So if somebody did not have money, this guy was not giving it to him. Basically, I imagined a Money God.
That seemed more realistic.
How was this money dude dressed? Well one thing I was sure of was, this money dude was very powerful. Money meant freedom, and the power to choose anything you wanted. So this dude was tall and well built. He wore a huge black cloak. And he wore a black hat. And he was serious. And he exuded power.
Fine. :) I had imagined the money dude. Now time to write a letter…
At first, I didn’t get any words. What to write about money?
Suddenly, a question popped into my head: When was the first time I really came to think about money?
That started me off…And I wrote and I wrote…
And here’s my letter.
Hi money dude. :)
Today I want to be completely honest with you.
I want to share with you all the thoughts, grievances, and crap that have gone on about you in my life.
When was it that I first really started thinking about you?
I think it was when I wanted toys and didn’t get them.
I wanted this amazing robot – an electronic one. I really, really wanted it. Even now when I think of it, I can see a picture of it in front of my eyes.
I asked my parents to buy it for me.
I cried and cried – because I really wanted it. It wasn’t even like I was putting on a show. I actually wanted it.
I remember how much it cost: Rs 316 ($7).
After I had cried a lot I understood that Rs 316 was a lot of money which is why my parents didn’t want to give that thing to me. They eventually took me to a toy store and gifted me a robot worth Rs 116 ($2.60). And I know that, that day it sunk in my little head that you were important money dude – too important. And that you should not be thought of lightly…There was something big about you..
I remember being taken to school in a cycle rickshaw. And I remember watching other school children being driven to school in cars and school buses. I never spoke about it, but I kept thinking in my head– “I must be poor. I am lowly because they are rich and I am poor.”
And I remember wearing “not-ok” clothes. I remember a boy saying to me, “Look how you’re dressed, like a laborer.” And I thought – “I am less than the others.”
I came to know about you money dude, because of the non-fulfillment of my desires. The robot, the school bus, good clothes. These were my desires and I desperately wanted to fulfill them.
My parents loved me very much and they still do. But they were protective about me and never gave me any money fearing I would get spoilt. That hurt me because meeting almost all my desires required money. I wanted to eat in the school canteen. I wanted to ride my scooter. I wanted loads of money to 'feel' free. And since I didn’t get it, none of my desires really got fulfilled. And I started resenting my parents and blaming them for this.
That was the first phase of my life: hoards of unmet desires and a desperate craving for money which made me resent my parents.
Then I went to college and phase 2 began. Since I lived in another city altogether, my parents sent me a lot of money. And I suddenly had all the money in the world to spend.
And I spent all of it. I spent recklessly without even caring to think what I was spending it for. It was a rebound: now that I had money I wanted to spend every penny of it and feel the thrill of throwing money away. I didn’t even care for my desires anymore. I spent without rhyme or reason on anything I fancied. I would give huge loans to my classmates and be broke the next day and not care. In fact I was always either of the two: broke or flooded with money.
It was as if I was taking my revenge on you, money dude. “You didn’t come when I needed you. And now I don’t care. Come and go as you wish.”, I was subconsciously saying to money.
And then college ended and phase 3 began.
After college, I didn’t make much money. I wanted time to work on my website and well-paying jobs took up a lot of time. So I took up a job that paid less but also made me work less. And since I was paid less I would always be thinking –“Do I have enough for the month? Will I be able to pay my rent and yet have enough to eat out every day?” I started being afraid of my money getting over. I used to feel happy when I skipped a meal because that would mean saving money. And I felt sad spending as much as Rs 100 for a phone recharge. That was phase 3.
Today as I write all this out to you, money dude, I am trying to forgive all three of my phases. When I was young I resented my desires not being fulfilled. It is OK. It is now over. I will try to release that resentment right now. In college I had a rebound. I release that feeling of recklessness right now. And recently, I feared I wouldn’t have enough money left. I’ll try to release that too and trust that the universe and you money dude will give me enough – as much as I want.
I know just saying ‘I release all this’ won’t help. But as much as I can, I release it all right now. And slowly in the course of time, I will release what is still left.
Let us patch up. I want to make friends with you money dude.
See you very soon indeed. :)
I didn’t read the letter out to the money dude. I felt its essence in my heart.
I didn’t know I had so much about money locked up in me.
I also realized that I had a lot to heal with respect to my parents. Somehow, my desires not being fulfilled had caused me to resent them. I would have to go and be with them. And let go….
My tears were proof of the fact that this had to be done.
Some interesting things manifested today. No a million dollar cheque hasn't arrived yet, but some fascinating incidents happened.
It started with my workplace: a co-worker had cleared a tough exam! So she distributed chocolates to everybody. I got one too. A delicious bar worth Rs 10. Of course I loved it.
During lunch hour, another co-worker asked me if I liked cauliflower. I LOVE cauliflower. Guess what she did next? She gave me ALL of her cauliflower dish. She said she didn’t want to have it and since I loved it, I could have ALL of it…Of course I enjoyed my meal and thanked the universe for this. :) The cauliflower dish would have cost me at least Rs 20….
Some other small little things happened. A co-worker offered me a cold drink worth Rs 4, a taxi driver accepted Rs 2 less than the usual fare from me, and a glass of Pepsi that I thought cost Rs 10, suddenly cost Rs 7!
Adding all of this up, I manifested Rs 43 ($0.95) today. :)
The very fact that these manifestations happen is interesting. I mean, there’s no denying that I did get all this money. The law of attraction is manifesting abundance! It works. :)
You know what? I’m happy. :) May you be happy too…!