I Don't Criticize Anymore: I Was The Problem

by Jennifer Baker

My life has changed ever since I stopped complaining. I don't criticize anymore and am happy about it.

I used to long for luxuries that I could not afford - manicures, shopping trips, vacations... I would sigh and say things like "I wish I could get my nails done" to my partner. I did not realize that I was hurting my partner with these "out loud" disappointments. He saw it as a failure on his part. Underneath my words, I think I really did mean to motivate him, or to share with him what I wanted and was not getting.

However, this constant criticism hurt our relationship. It created negativity between me and my partner.

One day I thought enough was enough and I bit my lip, and stopped all that "out loud "complaining. As soon as I did that, things between my partner and me improved drastically! We fight so much lesser now, and I have finally re-adjusted my priorities to see the wonderful friend and life that God has given me instead of looking at what I used to have, or what I would like to have, but do not have. Earlier when I had not stopped complaining,I would keep thinking that my partner was the problem. But now I see what a depressing bummer I sounded like then. Instead of being sad about everything in my life including my partner, I am now the grateful and happy girl that I was meant to be!

In the days when I complained, I used to send texts that included "I don't like my job, or my boss, or whatever" and I shoved the same negative messages in my partner's face all day long too. Now I feel more mature: I can handle boredom, being broke, or not liking parts of my job all on my own. I have realized one important fact - I am the only one who can make things better!

Complaining is definitely not the answer. Taking responsibility for my life and doing something about it, is.

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Jul 30, 2011
Happy For You
by: Meghashyam

It is heartening to know that you were actually able to make that change of NOT complaining. Generally, it is easy think "I won't complain from now on" and then we fall back on the same pattern again. I am feeling a lot of respect for you because you actually stuck it out and stopped complaining.

All the best, in any case. :)

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