How to Stop Complaining: Two Reader Stories

If you’ve read the post ‘How to Stop Complaining’, you know what I think about the complaining habit (hint: it’s addictive and completely ingrained in our human psyche.)

Here are two of the responses I’ve got.

I Don’t Criticize Anymore: I Was The Problem

by Jennifer Baker

My life has changed ever since I stopped complaining. I don’t criticize anymore and am happy about it.

I used to long for luxuries that I could not afford – manicures, shopping trips, vacations… I would sigh and say things like “I wish I could get my nails done” to my partner. I did not realize that I was hurting my partner with these “out loud” disappointments. He saw it as a failure on his part. Underneath my words, I think I really did mean to motivate him, or to share with him what I wanted and was not getting.

However, this constant criticism hurt our relationship. It created negativity between me and my partner.

One day I thought enough was enough and I bit my lip, and stopped all that “out loud “complaining. As soon as I did that, things between my partner and me improved drastically! We fight so much lesser now, and I have finally re-adjusted my priorities to see the wonderful friend and life that God has given me instead of looking at what I used to have, or what I would like to have, but do not have. Earlier when I had not stopped complaining,I would keep thinking that my partner was the problem. But now I see what a depressing bummer I sounded like then. Instead of being sad about everything in my life including my partner, I am now the grateful and happy girl that I was meant to be!

In the days when I complained, I used to send texts that included “I don’t like my job, or my boss, or whatever” and I shoved the same negative messages in my partner’s face all day long too. Now I feel more mature: I can handle boredom, being broke, or not liking parts of my job all on my own. I have realized one important fact – I am the only one who can make things better!

Complaining is definitely not the answer. Taking responsibility for my life and doing something about it, is.

My Life Will Get Better as I Stop Criticizing

by A Nice Human Being
(The Planet Earth)

I really feel that I need to stop criticizing and complaining. Recently, I was talking to one of my best friends and she told me “Hey you complain too much.” That was my first wake up call.

Since then, I have started noticing my own flaws and am making an effort to complain less.

But talking about unhappiness is easier than talking about happiness. So despite trying hard, I continued to criticize my own friends like a perennial fault-finder and international-level gossiper. At times I even called people around me ‘ugly’. Today when I was talking to another good friend and ended up calling someone ugly, she told me, “Hey you don’t have to hang out with people you don’t like, you aren’t being paid for that.”

She was right: Did I have to hang out with people I didn’t like?

This made me rethink a question a very good guy friend of mine had asked me when I was criticizing too much: “Are you really worried about that?”

Was I even worried about the faults of other people?

So today, finally, I made a promise to myself. I might not go back and undo everything, but I promise to be happy about other people’s happiness. I won’t look down on anybody unless I am helping them to get up. 🙂

I promise to remember how I feel when people call me ‘ugly’ and to remember how hurt the people I call ‘ugly’ feel about it. I need to be more compassionate and complain less.

Whoever needs to leave my life is free to go, one less person to please. New friends will come.