I Don't Criticize Anymore: I Was The Problem
by Jennifer Baker
My life has changed ever since I stopped complaining. I don't criticize anymore and am happy about it.
I used to long for luxuries that I could not afford - manicures, shopping trips, vacations... I would sigh and say things like "I wish I could get my nails done" to my partner. I did not realize that I was hurting my partner with these "out loud" disappointments. He saw it as a failure on his part. Underneath my words, I think I really did mean to motivate him, or to share with him what I wanted and was not getting.
However, this constant criticism hurt our relationship. It created negativity between me and my partner.
One day I thought enough was enough and I bit my lip, and stopped all that "out loud "complaining. As soon as I did that, things between my partner and me improved drastically! We fight so much lesser now, and I have finally re-adjusted my priorities to see the wonderful friend and life that God has given me instead of looking at what I used to have, or what I would like to have, but do not have. Earlier when I had not stopped complaining,I would keep thinking that my partner was the problem. But now I see what a depressing bummer I sounded like then. Instead of being sad about everything in my life including my partner, I am now the grateful and happy girl that I was meant to be!
In the days when I complained, I used to send texts that included "I don't like my job, or my boss, or whatever" and I shoved the same negative messages in my partner's face all day long too. Now I feel more mature: I can handle boredom, being broke, or not liking parts of my job all on my own. I have realized one important fact - I am the only one who can make things better!
Complaining is definitely not the answer. Taking responsibility for my life and doing something about it, is.