I once used to criticize things without even knowing that I was criticizing them. 'How to stop complaining' was a far cry. "The sky, the houses around – they are all so dull, the sunlight sucks etc etc."
As you know, there’s absolutely no point in complaining. Yeah, I thought so too.
Here’s what I did to stop complaining.
Though you may have decided that you don’t want to complain about anything, are you really sure you don’t want to? Take a moment, pause and ask yourself – Do I really don’t want to criticize EVER?
Do you hear answers like – "It’s OK when it is well meaning, but not all the time…" or "Sometimes I need to stand up and complain, but I shouldn’t do it too much…"
Can criticizing EVER help? Let’s start with you. Say you are always late for meetings, and your boss says – “Why are you always late? Why are you always so pathetic? Are you a moron?”
You might come early next time, but you’ll be angry with your boss.
Now instead, if he comes to your desk after the meeting and says – “You have been coming late since a long time. Please take care in future.”
That too will have the same impact and you won’t hate your boss.
Your friend, your wife, your son – criticism ALWAYS hurts. It’s like basically saying – “You suck!” Would you want someone to say that to you?
Can complaining ever help?
“The hotel service was so bad – if I don’t complain, this is how it will remain.”
Do you really think, things will improve if you complain against bad service? Aren’t you just venting out your own anger?
IF you really want to improve the hotel service, tell the manager – “Could you please make sure things are served quicker next time? That would be really nice for your hotel.”
So RESOLVE to NEVER criticize or complain. NEVER – no exceptions. That way you will not give your mind any chance to get into “life sucks!” mode again.
|By the way, are you really serious about breaking the "complaining habit"? Have you met with any success? Tell your story here!|
When I decided to quit complaining, I wrote down “Genuinely appreciate 5 times” in MS Word and typed down a “10” everyday below it before I slept. That helped me focus on the wonderful things around me rather than what sucked.
I suddenly saw that some guy was a good singer too even though he always disturbed me in ‘n’ ways. I saw that my dad had some wonderful qualities. I saw that I was surrounded by a lot of beauty if I just saw it.
Automatically, my mind stopped complaining and started looking for the good things around me. Automatically, I started feeling good.
Resolve to appreciate someone or something genuinely 5 times a day. That’s an anti-dote against complaining venom.
As soon as I resolved to stop complaining, I sat down with some people I knew. All of them were taking about how guy X sucked and how the whole system sucked and how our life would suck. I got out of the room – it just didn’t feel me.
If you have resolved to stop complaining but the people you hang out with are talking about how things just suck ALL the time, then you will somehow chip in and contribute your own version of how things suck soon enough. Things will always suck. And things will always rock. What do you want to talk about and attract in your life? So even though this may be difficult, you will have to stay away from people who complain way too much. At least until you are immune and stop complaining completely yourself. Then you can change them.
Do you know people who are happy most of the time? Come on, there must be at least one such guy? Hang out with them more,. When I stopped complaining, I found myself spending a lot of time with a friend who was always looking at the awesome side of things. Many people when asked – “How are you ?” say, “I’m good” or “Fine.” This guy says – “Awesome.” And he genuinely means it.
It rubs off.
When I decided to stop criticizing and complaining, I read one article at stevepavlina.com a day. It really helped me focus on things I could change rather than 'what sucked'.
If all day – you live in a dusty environment where there is a lot of filth, then the filth sticks to you and you have to wash a lot, right?
Similarly – if you surround yourself with messages that keep saying “Life sucks!”, then that’s how you will keep feeling.
Reading an article a day from any site you like – even this one, will be something that will instill the belief – “Life is good, and you can change things you don’t like” in you. Then you will not feel like complaining.
So are you visiting me every day from now on ? :P
Today I very rarely complain (yes, its not zero :) ), but I used to complain about everything and make my life hell. All I did was follow those 4 things I wrote above to stop criticizing and complaining.
It wasn’t tough but it required a HUGE change of habit. And if you stick with it, you will change your habit too.
Come on, it feels good, when you don’t criticize. And now you know how to stop complaining. So please stop criticizing.
Do you really feel you need to stop complaining? Do you want to? Tell us your story.
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