I know, those 'How to beat fear?' questions kept troubling me too.
You know what you are afraid of doing and you don’t want to be afraid, but when that situation arrives, you are afraid again. Well, try these tips.
I was afraid of talking to girls. I would shy away when a girl was near. That’s it, I decided – I would just face them more and more. I went out of the way to talk to girls. I deliberately initiated conversations when girls were nearby. Once, I even took out the girls in junior year, in my college out for a treat – simply so that I could interact with girls more and eradicate my fear.
What are you afraid of? Whatever it is – public speaking, strangers, anything, just keep doing it again and again. It takes a lot of guts to do something you are afraid of- facing fear– but just do it.
I was very afraid of social situations where there were lots of unknown people. I made it a point to attend as many social gatherings as possible. I fumbled and at times I was very shy and felt very, very uncomfortable. I attended my dad’s reunion and met his friends though nervous. I volunteered to be cultural secretary at my college. I made it a point to attend every event that occurred around me – a dance performance, a cultural convention everything.
Thankfully, today all such fear is gone!
Whatever it is you are afraid of – the first step in dealing with fear is to make sure you are flooded with opportunities to overcome it. Drown yourself in what you are afraid of doing. Tell me, if you are afraid of giving presentations and you give one presentation a week for 2 months, will there be fear?
|Do you have a fear tip that helped you stay put even when you were shaking? Tell us all here!|
I was very hesitant to talk to strangers. I was very afraid of speaking in public. Then one day – I told myself – "I want to be ripped apart. I want to be called a fool. I want to not know what to do. I want to face my fear. I want to be dumbstruck and embarrassed. Let it happen – whatever will happen."
I repeated this over and over again to myself, all day.
Within no time, there was no fear. When someone asked me – "Will you anchor in this competition?" – I said to myself – "I want to be ripped apart!" And I jumped and anchored. And to my astonishment – there was no ripping – it all went awesome!
Whatever it is that is troubling you – go do it, and affirm throughout your day again and again– "I want to be criticized and made fun of. Let whatever happens happen. I want to be ripped apart."
And go make your speech. Or go tell that girl you like her. Or go talk to the guy sitting there. It’s OK to be ripped apart. You will still exist and end up conquering fear.
Overcoming fears- A fear a day talks about this in detail.
At a time when I was very afraid of a lot of things, I sat down every night and wrote one small fear I could face the next day in MS Word. Then the next day I faced that fear and put a ’10’ below the fear I’d listed. Resolving to face any one small fear a day – absolutely changed my world and I became very happy and smiled like this - :).
Come, let’s look – is there any small thing that you are afraid of doing today? What scares you? Is it talking to girls? Is it talking in public? Is it asking a question in class?
I know, it sounds so airy – suddenly facing any of it. But could you break it into small parts - this fear of yours – small baby steps which are not so frightening? Like how about smiling at a girl today? Any girl. If you are afraid of asking her for a date, that is. Or how about appreciating something nice about a stranger today if you are afraid of talking to strangers? Anything tiny – that’ll take you in the direction of overcoming the BIG fears.
See, if you do something small everyday – then over time in a few months – you can stump the BIG fears, right?
Just yesterday, I was traveling in a train. The lights were on but I thought switching on lights in broad daylight was a waste of electricity. But the lights switch was far off – and my train was crowded – what if someone sat on my seat? And it was also very hot and there were only two switches. What if I switched off the fans instead of the lights? The already agitated, sweating people around me – what would they think?
Then I imagined that they were all smiling. That they were very happy and looking at me in appreciation as I stood up and switched off the wasteful train lights. And stood up.
What are you afraid of? Of the audience thinking you are a moron when you make a speech? Imagine the audience applauding, laughing and giving you a standing ovation! Imagine them listening in rapt attention! Imagine yourself just speaking away to glory, conquering fear!
Or if you are about to meet some new people and you are afraid of what they will think of you – imagine them being very happy to see you! Imagine them smiling and shaking hands and laughing.
There, you go, imagine. Nice things happening.
Once I saw a beautiful looking girl sitting on the steps. I was standing near her. I really wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful but I was afraid of how she would take it.
Then, before I had time to think – I just rushed and told the girl that she looked beautiful. She thanked me. (No she didn't scream. :P )
Another time, I wanted to call relatives I had not called in centuries. “What should I say when we talk?” “Will they think – why has he called?”
Before I could think more, I dialed their number. And said "Hi." And talked whatever I felt like talking in the moment. And felt happy.
Why think so much? Whatever will happen will happen anyway? Just do it. Stop thinking and start conquering fear by doing. Do first, then later you can think.
Whenever I do something I am afraid to do, BUT want to do, I feel amazing. I feel light. And then I tell myself – “I rock!”.
And this is true. If you have done something you are afraid of - despite the fear. There's no denying it. You rock.
SO every time, you move one small step in the direction of facing fear, tell yourself – “I rock! I mean, was I really so awesome to do that! Holy Christ! I am stupendous!” :P
You see, it doesn’t matter what other people in the world have achieved. There will be a man who has given a stirring speech before a thousand people. And all you did was talk to that man there. Yet, in your universe, you rock. Because you did something you were afraid of doing by dealing with fear.
Whatever fear it is, it is possible - overcoming fears. I mean, come on, you can do something small and tiny today in the right direction. It isn’t that difficult. Oh, come do it.
There are answers to 'how to beat fear?' Dealing with fear is fun. :)
Did it ever happen that you did something when you were afraid and the fear plain vanished? Tell us what you did. :)
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