12 Hilarious Quotes – Come on Laugh!

No meaning. No inspiration. No logic. 🙂 I just laughed when I read these!

Hope these hilarious quotes take your stress away and have you in splits soon enough.

“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”                                    

(Mark Twain )

“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”                                     *

(Winston Churchill)

“Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!”

( Anonymous)

“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”

(Homer Simpson)

“I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD”                   *

(T-shirt Caption)

People actually stopped to look and laugh when my friend wore a t-shirt with this hilarious quotation at the airport! 🙂

“Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what’s for lunch!” 

(Orson Wells)

I first saw this hilarious quote on the menu card of a restaurant called ‘Relish’ in Mumbai, India. 😉 It’s stuck with me ever since.

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”                                     *

(Rita Rudner)

Ha ha. Did you ever stop to think what dogs thought of other dogs? 😉

It’s a bit nonsensical but this funny quote also has deeper significance if you stop to think.

Famous people have to watch their words so carefully that sometimes they do end up saying hilarious things. 🙂 Look at what former American president, George W. Bush said once for instance…

“Actually, I — this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I’m talking about–when I’m talking about myself, and when he’s talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.”

(George W. Bush)

He didn’t intend it I guess, but it definitely ended up being a way too funny and famous quote. 😀

And here’s one from ex-American vice-president, Dan Quayle. 🙂

“Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If there is oxygen, then we can breathe.”

(Dan Quayle)

Oh the pressure of being a celebrity… 🙂

Sometime kids can express funny thoughts for the day in pure, innocent ways without even realizing it:

“I am not an oxymoron.”

(7 Year Old)

😀 Maybe he thought he was being called a moron?

“Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

(3 year old son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens.)

Little children. And their innocent little heads! 🙂

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for an year and a half!”                                     *

(Gracie Allen)

Hope these hilarious sayings have lightened things up for you.

Have a day full of laughter today. 🙂